Self Improvement

Something’s Gotta Give

Rue-Stoffer Photography 0090

We live in an age of busy. And a  full life with exciting projects and great friends is a good thing, right? I’d probably get bored if it were any other way, but squeezing everything in just to get it done can leave you feeling defeated instead of fulfilled.

And we can’t have that.

A week after my 10 day trip to South America, my business partner left town for a week. And while things are 1000x easier having Allyson on the team, it’s just so much better when there are 2 people to handle the major stuff. 2 photo shoots, 3 design projects, a houseguest last weekend, trip to CA (leaving tomorrow), another houseguest next weekend, securing donations for PAWS animal Magnetism on the 18th, a project with GiltCity, prepping for my home tour shoot in April, a possible trip at the end of March, and four more trips by the end of May. Full and exciting, but I’m tired just thinking about it.

So what do you do when things feel crazy? First, as important as it is to see my friends, it’s a must that I have at least 2 nights during the week to relax, watch TV, and do nothing. My back had been feeling really tight lately so I booked a deep tissue which not only helped calm me down, but it alleviated a lot of tension, too. This might sound stupid, but ordering 2 bottles of my favorite almond milk made me happy, so I did that, too. I also treated myself to a trench coat since that’s something I needed for spring.

There’s a lot of anxiety around traveling home to LA which is probably why I only go once a year. I’ve touched on this, but my relationship with my mom is very complicated and my great aunt (the family member I’ve always been closest to) has no idea who I am anymore. There’s a small part of me that doesn’t want Rose to look at me and no know who I am again. Of course I’m going to see her and want to see her. It’s just extremely said and painful. Dementia sucks.

I’m staying at my oldest friend’s place (friends since we were SIX) and she’s already made me feel so welcome by picking up my favorite snacks and drinks (la croix, obviously), and making fun plans for us while I’m there. On Sunday morning, I’ll drive up to Santa Barbara to visit one of my best friends and her 3 kids. I can’t tell you how excited I am to see them. I drove up there at least 1-2 times a month for about a year when her first son was born and miss them all like crazy. Jess and I talk at least a few times a week but I need to squeeze these people immediately.

Just a little reminder to give yourself a break when you need one. I’m spending the day working on the couch in leggings, need to pack, and plan on laying low before getting on another plane tomorrow.

This one’s for all of you– Shopbop’s sale doesn’t end until the 5th so you’re not too late to place an order.

And my new favorite Ann Taylor pintuck tee is 40% off!

Happy almost weekend!

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  • This post really resonated with me. I’ve been struggling with the constant "need" to stay in motion for years now and after trying to pinpoint my anxiety, I discovered I need to take a break from "stuff management." For me, it’s been helpful to try and release myself from the incessant task of thinking about and managing things (in my personal life, at least). I found that I crave motion, so when I’m feeling particularly stuck, I thrust myself into projects in an attempt to move forward. It’s a flip-flop between two extremes…part of me wants to embrace this new minimalism (purging, simplifying, being fulfilled with less) everyone is talking about and the other half thrives on the creative rush of planning, curating, and adding to my life. Both desires are fueled by perfectionism and both are my attempts at control. It was (and is) exhausting. Even my attempt at "minimal living" involves a lot of stuff management. I kind-of live in perpetual "edit" mode. Whether I’m obsessing over what I need to change, add, or remove from my life, I’m not experiencing the present. I have occasionally had to institute a "freeze"…no purchasing, no purging, no planning…just sitting with and experiencing what is.

    I am finding the "freeze" is easier said than done. My go-to anxiety reducer has always been de-cluttering (my guilty pleasure), but lately, that isn’t easing my stress. I wrote about it here ( It’s a constant struggle. I commend your efforts to lay low and let yourself unwind sans guilt. 🙂