5 years ago
The Things That Won’t Complete You
There’s always something we want or think we need in order to be happy. Or enough. Whether it’s reaching a certain point in your career, owning a home, buying a that designer bag you’ve wanted for forever, or starting a family. When these things don’t happen exactly when we think they should – which is often how that works out – we’re left feeling “less than” or incomplete. These are the things that won’t complete you.
The Things That Won’t Complete You
The thing is, most of it doesn’t really matter because none of these things will actually complete you. You’ll always be adjusting to what’s new and working toward what’s next. The better job, more money, buying a home, or a big vacation. We live in a world where we always want and need to have and be more, which can be good or terrible, depending on the situation and what you make of it.
Social media can be the worst
Seeing how good we think everyone has it on social media can be really damaging. The engagement and baby announcements, vacations, and often curated moments are a glimpse. I’ve styled a photo or two (understatement of the year) and have partnered with brands, but try to be honest, too. Please just remember that it’s not everything.
Interior design is something that I love. I love creating. As Type A as I am, am always cleaning and organizing, so having my home look the way it does works for me. But it isn’t everything.
None of that completed me
Then I met Conor and pause for shock – we don’t complete each other, either. The right person will bring out the best in you, but they should be icing on the cake and not the entire cake. Relying on one person to be the thing that makes you happy will not work. We still have our struggles and can be there to support each other, but we can’t just fix it.
“Stuff” won’t complete you
I used to have an overstuffed closet and dresser, and pared everything down by at least 50%. My four t-shirt piles are now one small pile, and I feel better owning fewer better things. I realize I post products pretty frequently, but I hope you know it’s all in fun, and that at the end of the day, none of that really matters. You don’t “need” any of it, but if you like picking up a few things for fall or decorating your home or just seeing inspiration, it is my hope I can provide a little inspiration. And I really enjoy doing it. But these posts – these are the ones that matter.
Even the dreamiest scenario can be hard
Whenever I tell someone I’m getting married in Paris, people have the strongest and post positive reactions to the news. In so many ways, it’s a dream come true. But putting the expectation of perfection on one day seems a little crazy to me. My family won’t be there, and I’d give anything for that part of my story to be different. I am starting to find peace in that, but it’s hard. I have chosen to focus more on our marriage than a celebration. On one day. It will be amazing, but it isn’t everything.
So many women (myself included) struggle with self-imposed timelines.
I just talked about why I’m glad things didn’t work out as planned on The Everygirl. Back in my 20s, I thought I had to be married and have kids by the time I turned 30 which is clearly not how things worked out for me. Looking at where I am now, I honestly wouldn’t change a thing. I really struggled with the fact that my wedding might happen after my 35th birthday. We’re getting married three weeks after my 35th birthday. Once again, I learned that those self-imposed timelines really don’t matter.
We can’t control everything and it’s so important to take time to appreciate where we are now. Don’t give up on the things you want. There is not one thing, person, or circumstance that will complete you. Can we find ourselves happier than ever in that new job and love our spouses and children more than anything? Yes, of course. But everything – even the good things that we’ve always dreamed about – come with their own set of struggles.
There’s no happily ever after without any issues and struggles because that’s just not how it works. Look to the future and dream of the things you hope to have someday, but don’t forget to appreciate where you are now.